How to be a Gentleman

I popped into my local library today, just to browse and pass my lunch hour in search of an interesting and informative read. Better to educate oneself than waste time selecting the right sandwich.

I came upon a book that described the very best way to dress and behave like a true Gentleman. I should have checked it out and taken it home so I could quote the title, but read it fairly quickly and didn’t bother.

What an interesting read! How-to guides for: shaving, cutting and shampooing hair, tying a tie, or bow tie, or cravat, selecting a suit or a short or trousers, indeed what kind of underpants to wear and how to select a supportive model. Followed by what cigars or pipes to select, which was the best umbrella, the perfect loafer, the best hip flask, the sharpest leather briefcase, which handkerchiefs to wear, what after shave or cologne, what to wear on a pheasant shoot and so on and so forth.

A common theme being one of two major elements to each selection – how to select, and from whom to buy.

I would regard the first part as essential to the Gentleman Audiophile. One of the tenets described in this blog is that the GA should be a connoisseur – ‘one who knows’ – and this speaks to that very thing. I found it fascinating to read how to wash and shampoo my hair properly, why select a toupee or choose instead go bald gracefully (noting that this has yet to occur for me), how shirts are made and why this is an important factor in your choice, how to iron your shirts, what the difference is between Eau de Parfum and Eau de Cologne, the major notes in each perfume, and so on.

What irritated me and where the parallel with the Hi Fi industry is sadly marked, is the then promotion of the ‘best place to buy’ – your shirts from Jermyn Street, suits from Saville Row, which barbers do the best wet shave, what is the best make of umbrella or aftershave. Even though those items which are inevitably subjective have to be presented as a choice of a select few - such as the aforementioned aftershave – the implication is clear: pick these to be classed as a gentleman, pick others and fail to become one.

Thus I imagine a cohort of ambitious pseudo-Gentlemen reading this book and dutifully spending their disposable income on a waxed Barbour jacket for the weekend, a selection of Cohiba Robustas with precisely polished humidor, and a suit from Gieves & Hawkes. Noting that, of course, some of these things are nice to have or consume or wear and probably well worth the investment; what I dislike is the assumption that only these things are fit for purpose and anything else, anything not ‘approved’, is unworthy. You are Not A Gentleman unless you Do This and buy everything recommended in the book.

The Gentleman Audiophile is not the same as the Gentleman I read in this book – I would say: take the lessons in the book and apply them to yourself, considering the 'why' a Gieves & Hawkes suit might be well made and well designed but avoiding the trap of thinking ‘If I buy this product from respected retailer X, it will be good / will suit me / will make me a Gentleman by default’.

Clearly not. One day, maybe even Tesco will make a suit that matches a Gieves & Hawkes design (well, one can always hope) but perhaps some lesser brand such as Austin Reed might be just as good? Or even M&S...?

In the Hifi world, we have some well known brands who deservedly maintain an optimum position based on the quality of their products; but other brands who can easily match or exceed their capability, yet are somehow not as sought after nor even as well reviewed. Why is this?

I suppose that one of the irritants in this book was the needless expense. If you set out to become a Gentleman, that you have to buy all the elements that make you so – the suit and shirts and shoes and after shave and shaving brush and silk ties and so on and so forth – from retailers whose costs are high and margins higher, more often on the basis that it feels good to buy from them rather than that they offer a superior product than someone else using the same tailoring techniques, weight and quality of material and so on.
In the hifi industry, there are some interesting parallels. We have an incestuous suite of review magazines whose constant plugging of certain brands is clearly aligned to the importers in their respective countries, with scant regard to empirical assessment and material cost. Backhanders? Possibly. Their promotion of expensive equipment you ‘have to own’ bears almost no regard to the true cost of manufacture and component use; it more often aligns to the brand identity and how you feel about owning and displaying that brand, with plenty of positive affirmation from an enthusiastic reviewer.  How much of the expensive stuff is worth the money? Use your ears and trust your gut instincts – the GA must spot the signs of equipment lust and pride of ownership, set aside that expectation bias, and suppress the desire to ‘signal’ to your fellow GAs just what a Gentleman you are by investing in shiny equipment that does not truly perform.

‘Signalling’ is another term I recently learned when listening to a Freakonomics podcast on ‘being Green’; it refers to the human trait, identified by those in the marketing world, to want to demonstrate to your peers what you value and how you value it. Here’s an example: people who invest in solar panels for the roof of their homes and yet who tell the installers to put them on the street side, not the sunnier side which generates more heat / electricity. They are ‘signalling’ their Green intent to their neighbours. Or, the Japanese factories with windmills mounted on the roof to generate a paltry power input; they have generators that are also turned into motors to keep the rotors turning when there is no wind, because otherwise it ‘signals’ a lack of enterprise.

So I was fascinated to find a book that described the best way to be a gentleman not just from the perspective of technique, but also how to show that off. Personally, I’d say the GA is focused only on the internal aspect of Gentlemanly Audiophillia – how you feel inside, how the music speaks to your heart. Forget the trappings, learn the ‘how to’ and apply it without chasing a brand image. Behave inside like a Gentleman and forget how it looks!